if anyone can help me out, i need this interpreted.
Past: Inverted Fool
Present: Hermit
Future: 4 Wands
Overview: Lovers

I know what it means but I don't want to be reading it as it is.

And here's the second one.
Past: Inverted Chariot
Present: PAge Wands
Future: 6 Swords
Overview: Judgement

See, I don't want to feel things but I do. I don't want to think about some people but it's so hard. It's getting worse everyday. Sometimes it's suffocating. I hate being cornered. I hate people talking about me. I hate it all. I don't understand why people can't just let me be. And why I just can't be happy no matter how much I try. And believe me, I'm really trying but people are making it all the more difficult for me.

I begin to wonder if I'm gonna wake up every morning feeling this shitty. I don't understand why people have to say things about me that I didn't do. If I did do them then FINE. But I didn't.