fuckk off love. i love you too much as it is

I've just been fooling myself haven't I? I was a fool to believe that for even a moment I could ever be truly complete. I don't want to do the things that I have to do. I don't want to give up. I don't want to be some random person on the street that doesn't mean a thing. I am not fucking random damn it.

I just... I don't want to be with anyone or anything. In fact, I want nothing more than to get my life back on track. I thought leaving home and coming to a new place would be a good thing. Who knew that it would be shit loads harder. Who knew that I'd meet people who're just like him. Ridiculously impossible to read or understand. People who I for some reason keep getting drawn to. People who upon further inspection, increasingly intrigue me. People I can't help but want to know.

Why is it that everything I say doesn't make sense? Am I that confusing? Do I talk in circles? Is it wrong to want so badly to find a moments peace with someone I can really care about? Is it wrong to turn away people who I don't want to be with? Why is it that people can't seem to be clear anymore?