Shit

Today was an ok day. Until ONE phone call just destroyed everything. You have crossed me. I have no patience to do anything to you. As much as it hurts me and everything that I am, as much as I feel so bloody worthless now, I can't do anything can I.

I had a dream last night. It was late at night and I was with luke walking under the stars while he was on guard duty. We were drinking coconut juice and were scrapping the flesh of it's shell. Then we started slipping ice down each other's backs. I was wearing some black spag dress and was kinda organza like. He was in uniform and his sleeves were down. I was freezing my guts out so he took off his shirt and put it around my shoulders. And then I woke up. Other than that I remember a lot of grass, smiling and laughing. Hmmm... Well it's better than the dream he had about me and how I knocked him down in my Pugeot and I started buying him loads of stuff coz I felt really bad! To top things off, he was with Kenny while Saf and Rick were in the car with me! Hah!

But I've had weirder dreams like the one I had a couple of nights ago. I received messages from someone who's name I shall not say. I don't really remember what I said but the replies were along the lines of "don't say shit like that", something about how irritating I was and "you know I love you". Needless tosay, I was shocked.

Dreams... They're supposed to mean something. As in they're sposed to have some hidden meaning behind them. I just have to go figure it out then I guess. But I kinda like dreams. And these ones are quite mild actually...

I'm still trying to make myself feel better. Evidently it's really not working out. I hate my life. I hate the way things always come crashing on me.