I hate fighting. Be it for a response or whatever. I don't think it's worth it. Why the hell should I waste my time. That's it, you've heard the last of me. Do whatever you want. I don't care. Hell, leave me out of it because I want no part of it. Not now, not ever. I can't help but begin to feel so incredibly stupid after awhile. I seriously hope that you're not just using me coz I swear if you are... It's enough that I have to deal with school work and an almost non-existant social life let alone this. I hate it. I hate a lot of things. I hate the way I just can't forget all of this.

I feel like a bloody neophyte. Like I don't even recognise things that I've been doing since forever. I've been so out of touch that oh gee, my defensive mechanism is up so high that I don't know how I'm gonna tear it down. I miss being able to talk. I miss just sitting and watching a movie. I miss the casualty and the plain and simple innocence. I hate what's happen. What I've become. Amazing that I've sunken this low. And all for what? Nothing. In the long run, it still feels completely empty. I don't care if I don't make sense anymore. I don't care if you don't see this. For once, I just want to not care. So this is kinda like a good bye. I don't fucking care if anyone thinks this is childish or stupid or lame. But this is like a good bye. Don't expect me to call. Don't expect me to be there because as much as I want to and probably will, it tears me up.

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing you can do to help me. I've just got to cry and then sort this mess out. And once again, all this alone. Like you even give a damn.

Why can't I just hate you.