You're nothing but a distant memory blown in the wind that haunts my dreams. You're nothing more than the smoke that I exhale each time I exhale.
You're nothing more than the puke that I regurgitate each time I drink too much for my own good.

And yet you are a great part of this emptiness that has found it's place inside me. The emptiness that won't seen to go away no matter how much energy I have. No matter how much new found belief I have in myself. Not matter how balanced I am now, you just seem to nestle yourself deeper inside me. It's annoying. You're annoying. And yet, despite everything, I cannot bring myself to hate you. Despite all the pain that you have directly or indirectly hurled my way, all the little things that you do somehow cannot propel my hatred. Perhaps this is all part and parcel of being balanced. I become so jaded to everything that I shut my emotions in a box never to see the light again.

In all honesty, I hope I never have to set eyes upon you again. Although I know in a couple of weeks I will have to. I know that eventually I will want to again. All because you have somehow managed to infiltrate the fortress that is my mind. But you wait. Wait till I figure out how to block you out. You just fucking wait till I gain control. I hope I learn to wield my own strength. Because when that time comes, I will never let you in again.

But for now, while you still have this uncanny control over me, I will not fight myself. It is the last thing that I should do. I shall learn to cut the restraints that society and my conscious have put on myself. This is no threat. This is no warning either. This is my will. So mote it be.

How blasphemous of me. Karma comes to bite us all in the ass.